How To Deal With Feeling Left Out: Strategies to Overcome Isolation and Reclaim Confidence
Going through life feeling like you don’t fit in, can be a bit of a doozy. It’s a feeling that will leave you feeling uneasy, that’s why no one needs to feel like they have the worst case of FOMO. Whether it’s feeling left out by friends, or at work or even in a family setting, this is a feeling some of us know all too well, and it’s time to dust all of that angst off and get away from the pity party you’re currently sulking in.
- written by Joy Onu
- 5 min read
- 29 May, 2023
GoogleWe all want our lives to be an episode of Friends, The Office, and Modern family all interwoven into one, maybe not all of us, but think about how cool life would be if you found your people, people who never for one second will make you feel like you are not welcome? Sometimes it takes a while to find the right people, before you do, let’s work out a few ways to deal with feeling left out.
Accept How You Feel
The first step to taking your power back is accepting that you do feel left out, there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and honest with yourself. If it hurts, it hurts, listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, don’t downplay it or ball it down to overreaction. Chances are, your friends always hang out without you, or your work buddies leave you out of all the inside jokes.
These are perfectly good reasons why you might be feeling that sting, the trick is to process your emotions, and if you’re up for it, you should have an open conversation with yourself about why their actions or lack thereof bothers you. Talking to someone you trust could help you through how you feel, you could try writing how you feel through the art of journaling, or even try out a few calming exercises when you feel the emotion flooding right through you.
Communicate Your Feelings
It is often said that when people tell you who they are through their actions, you need to listen. One thing that never fails in solving a problem is communication, you need to communicate with the party or parties involved, you never know, it could just be one big misunderstanding. Sometimes our anxiety and fear of rejection could lead us to the depth of overthinking every single thing, maybe you jumped into the worst case scenario, but you’ll never know if you don’t have an open and honest conversation.
Prepare yourself to have a tough conversation about this, the outcome could be gnarly or beautiful, depending on the other person at the end of this. The way we see it, this conversation could go one of two ways; your emotions could be met with compassion or just invalidation, either way, you need to be aware of your self worth the whole time. You could walk out of the conversation with a strong bond or a bond that’s just not worth saving, but what matters is having a conversation with the person or people involved first.
Make The First Move
We live in an era of shooting shots, the same could be applied in cases like this. If you notice a pattern where you’re feeling left out a lot, it’s either they don’t see your worth or maybe you’re sending wrong signals. If it’s the latter, then there are a few ways to fix it, but if it’s the former, it’s best to not spend your days worrying about people who don’t see your worth.
The thing about people and relationships is that a lot of it is based on signals given and the ones received. Sometimes we read the signals wrong, that’s why communicating is quintessential when it comes to surviving in this rat race we call life. Are you giving off a signal that is standoff-ish or cold? If you think you are, you should reach out more to the people you care about, invite them to lunch or game night, and see where that takes you.
Find Your People
The power of finding your people cannot be overemphasized, a lot of the self doubt going around could just be traced to the people around you, not being the people for you. You don’t have to beat yourself up about it or dwell in a feeling of rejection. Go out and meet new people, chances are, you’re going to meet the best people who appreciate all your quirks and eccentricities and people who don’t make you feel left out.
You have more friends than you know, and more people who love you and won’t exclude you, focus on those people instead. Focus on yourself as well, self love is undoubtedly the first step to stop being consumed by the feeling of being left, remind yourself of all the great things you have to offer, and don’t wait for other people to validate your existence.
Have a Dance Party! Or Talk To a Therapist
Solo dance parties are ultimately the best, you need to learn to be okay with having fun by yourself, it might sound lame now, but don’t knock it till you try it. Whatever floats your boat really, the point is to find something that takes your mind away from the gut wrenching feeling you get when you’re being left out.
When you’re all alone after a long hard day, unwind with your favorite things, it could be dancing with yourself, listening to music, going out on a solo date, watching a move, anything at all, and if every solution seems to fail you, it doesn’t hurt to talk it out with a professional.
At the end of the day, you need to remember who you are; You matter, you’re loved, and that’s on period!