5 Important Self-Love Lessons From ‘Sex Life’ Season 2

Sex Life in all its messy glory does not shy away from giving important life hacks to every woman and dare I say it, every man in the world who may be stuck between all the beauty and pain life throws, and all the beauty and pain you gravitate towards when making life choices.

  • written by Joy Onu
  • 6 min read
  • 09 Mar, 2023

One question Sex Life tries to answer is the proverbial question: “Can I have it all?”  and the answer is, sometimes you can, but along the way, as you strive to have it all, how do you stay true to who you are? And most importantly, do you love who you are enough to go for the things you want head on? Before you ask yourself the proverbial question, you need to ask yourself: “Do I love myself enough to believe I deserve it all?”  A lot of getting the most out of life rests in the hands of love, whether that is loving others or the most overlooked equation of love, loving yourself.

Netflix’s Sex Life shares a lot of powerful gems on one's journey to self discovery and love. Asides the steamy sex scenes and edge cutting love triangles, there are so many lessons that every person could take note of and apply to their self-love journey. Here are five important self-love lessons that will leave you wanting more.

Settling Is The New Self Loathing 

Okay, we admit self-loathing is quite a reach, but a tomayto is still a tomahto no matter how you dice or slice it. From the very beginning of the show we see the terrible decisions Billie makes as a result of her choices. Cooper is a great man, a great father and a great husband, but there’s something missing…He’s not Brad, the great love of Billie’s life, the one that got away.

This goes to show you that settling in any aspect of your life is the root of unhappiness, and sometimes it even goes as far as self-loathing, which could lead to terrible decisions that hurt you and the people around you, it may not happen instantly, but settling will someday cause you pain in the long run. 

You need to love yourself enough to believe that you deserve your heart desires, and then you need to go for it. You deserve that dream job, you deserve that true self-love, and you are worthy of love that makes you grow, be it in a relationship or friendships.

Listen To Your Little Voice

There’s always that little voice in your head that screams louder and louder even when all you do is ignore it. No matter how hard you try to cover up the things you want the most, it always comes back up. The thing about your little voice, or as it is popularly known as, your intuition; is that more often than not, it tries to remind you of the things you want and the things you don’t want, and if you trust yourself enough to listen to it, it might just get you to where you belong.

Billie ignored her intuition for so long, it was a bumpy ride but she finally came around to making the difficult choice and living her life on her own terms, and according to what that little voice reminded her of, albeit it affected the lives of people around her, in the end, it all worked out.

Sometimes, Isolation is Independence Lost In Translation

The idea of independence is thrilling, but sometimes it can get lost in translation and in a bid to be independent, you can find yourself getting rid of things that have the potential to make you happy. Don’t get it wrong, there’s absolute beauty in enjoying your own company for as long as you like, but that doesn’t mean you need to rid yourself of love and support from the people willing to give that to you.

Sasha is the epitome of a strong, independent woman who thought a man would only hold her back. This is often the peril of being a woman, the thought that you have to give up one thing to attain your independence, but part of loving yourself and your strengths is realizing that you don’t have to pick and choose, you don’t have to do it all alone, if you find a partner or people that value who you are to the very core, keep them close. After all, what is life if you don’t get to share beautiful moments with the ones you love?

Just Go For It

In the words of Billie: “As women, we are imbued with great power, most importantly, the power of choice.” Part of falling in love with yourself is knowing who you really are, you can’t essentially make choices for your own good if you’re not in awe of the woman or person you are. If you want something bad enough, you need to honor yourself enough to go for it with everything you have, while resisting the urge to give up.

Things got really messy with Brad and Billie, and noted that they didn’t particularly make the best decisions or choices, but if they had just stayed true to what they wanted from the very beginning, we would have been spared of all the messiness, but that wouldn’t make great TV, would it? Luckily for you, your life isn’t a TV show, but you are the main character, and you have endless opportunities to make your own choices.

Don’t be scared to follow your passion no matter what, you need to believe in who you are and things you want enough to never ask yourself, what if. 

Everyone Makes Mistakes 

A big part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. As much as we are bound to the need to make good choices, we need to leave room for the mistakes we might make along the way. Sex Life is about the roads not taken, it’s about the bad choices that stem from one's true desire. At the end of the day, you will face hurdles that come along with the mistakes you make, and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up for all the wrong turns you’ve taken, we live and we learn.

Season 2 left us feeling hopeful, everyone turned out great and happy. Spoiler alert! Billie says I do to the love of her life, Cooper finds love in Emily who gave him the one thing he wanted desperately from Billie. Sasha not only made it in life, she also let the man in. In every inch of each character is a journey to self discovery and self-love, it is a reminder that you can have the things you want in life, but the first step is knowing you’re worth all of it. 

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